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  • Writer's pictureKristin

The Flip Side of Waiting...

One thing I was not ready for when I started my IVF journey was all of the waiting. Yup… waiting. I feel like it is a CONSTANT waiting game. You are always waiting for the next set of results, the next steps to begin, some signs of success, and everything in between. I have a love-hate relationship with waiting now. I think “waiting” is a part of the process that those who aren’t intimately familiar with themselves struggle to truly understand. I occasionally share glimpses into my journey with friends/family who have not experienced IVF for themselves, and I regularly provide updates that say “still waiting.” I am often greeted with a response along the lines of, “Wow! I feel like you are always waiting.” Well… if you feel like that, imagine how I am feeling haha. The waiting and the uncertainty of what will come is absolute torture. But do you want to hear something interesting about waiting in my experience? You could even say I actually love this small aspect of waiting. When I am not ready to share specifics (perhaps after another loss like I experienced last week), simply telling people that I am “still waiting,” has become a safety net for me. It’s an opportunity to keep the specifics to myself, while still sharing updates with those who may be following along and interested in what is happening. Sure, I could say nothing or everything, but to have that safety net of “waiting” in my back pocket, I am providing updates while also allowing myself the time I need to determine if I even want to share more. And, for anyone going through this journey, you know that we are always “waiting” in some capacity. We always have that fallback answer to protect our hearts and minds if we aren’t ready to divulge deeper. Waiting - you are difficult to come to terms with 98% of the time. But, 2% of the time, you provide me with a sense of security. So, thank you for that. If you are currently, “waiting,” whether it be for test results, for your next cycle to start, for your body to be ready again, or for something different, I am right here with you… waiting.


Your IVF Bestie,

Kristin

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